I lost a friend of more than 50 years last Summer. Jeff went from upstairs neighbor, to roommate, to long term friend. He was a large man in many ways. His nickname was “Bear” and his email address was BearVandal, after his beloved rugby club in the UK, “The Vandals.”

There are friends, and there are special friends. Special friends bring out the best in you. They see your most positive traits and echo them back to you in their interactions. They encourage you and push you to do your best things. This was Jeff. We cared about each other and went through the good and the bad together. We always had each other’s backs, looking at ways to improve our lives and keep having fun along the way.

We met in 1975 at San Jose State University where we lived in a Victorian-style home that was close to campus and divided into two units. I asked my live-in girlfriend, “do you think that guy Jeff upstairs smokes pot?” The answer was yes, and this started a relationship that lasted more than five decades. Years of having fun, partying, going to local baseball and football games. Sharing life.

After graduation, Jeff took a job with the US Geological Survey in Menlo Park, and I started working at Dialog Information Services in Palo Alto, we moved in together to a house also in Menlo Park. We later moved to a nicer place in Mt. View, complete with hot tub. In 1982, when I was promoted and moved to Los Angeles, Jeff came down there for stretches of time to help me find a new place and get acclimated to my new life.

Jeff possessed extraordinary common sense and real world/street smarts on top of his scientific knowledge. During his career, when he mentored many younger colleagues on dealing with complex equipment in a marine environment, Jeff had a standard approach. First was RTDM, “read the damn manual.” He also could apply his smarts, way better than most, to having a good time. And this made him a valuable and cherished co-worker. Things got done and everyone was having a good time too.

Our careers then took us all over, me to LA for >10 years and back to the Bay Area. He to a variety of locations including San Diego, Houston, London, Oslo, and New York.

In the early years and during my time in Los Angeles, I spent many Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays at the Rupert home in El Cerrito. I met all of Jeff’s siblings – Denise, Cary, and Jeannine. I got to know Jeff’s dad, Paul, and mom, Anita, who was an incredible hostess.

Anita would lead us to Napa to visit wineries. She often knew the winemaker or the person leading the tasting. Without Jeff and his mom, I don’t think I would have developed my interest in wine and the Wine Country. Plus, all her holiday dinners were amazing, and she also did breakfast in a big way, making a frittata or something similar, accompanied by a Ramos Fizz or deluxe Bloody Mary.

We managed to stay in pretty good contact, and I visited him in San Diego, Houston, and London. Along the way, Jeff had met Jane, an Aussie, in New Zealand while hitchhiking, and they got married. When he returned from the trip where he met Jane, he said to me – “Plosker, this one is different.” They were married and had two wonderful daughters, Jessica and Alexandra.

In 1993 I met a very young Jessica at Anita’s condo in Napa during a holiday visit. I met Alexandra in Berkeley in 2001.

In July of 2008 Jeff held a memorial service at Brennan’s (also in Berkeley) for his mom who had passed. Brennan’s was a favorite family-owned bar that permanently closed on September 15, 2018, after nearly 60 years in business. Jeff brought his crew from Napa to Berkeley on a minibus, and I was amazed when his two grown up daughters and their cousin, Ashley, came off the bus.

When Jeff retired at the end of 2019, he moved into his mother’s condo in Napa. We both were looking forward to him being back in the Bay Area to enjoy our time together, more Giant’s games, wineries, doing BBQs, and going to local restaurants, both in Napa and San Francisco.

At first COVID blocked our way, but once we started getting vaccines, we started to do things together. My wife Starlet gets along very well with Jane.

We would go up to Napa for long weekends, hang out, visit wineries, and have nice dinners. All the good things one does when retired and enjoys the company of a longtime friend.

We would meet in San Francisco, often at the Ferry Building, and eat at Hog’s Island Oyster Company. When Jeff needed to spend a night at SFO prior to travelling, we would go to the New England Lobster Company next to SFO. We would always push the boundaries of corkage fees.

During Christmas of 2021 Jane and Jeff hosted their entire family and good friends for holiday festivities. With Jessica, in town from London, and Alexandra, her husband Scott and their young son Maverick, in town from Warwick, NY, I got to see Jeff in full father mode. It was fabulous to see how this dad (and now granddad) had taken to the role!

Jeff had issues with his knees and had two knee replacements. About four years ago he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and went through surgery, chemo, radiation, etc. By the Summer of 2025, all was going well. Cancer seemed in the past, and he was feeling and looking good. In early July he hosted a memorial for his youngest sister, Jeannine, who had passed the previous year.

The following month Jane called when I was in the car, and she asked me if I was driving. I said yes and she said you should pull over. Super bad news – Jeff had passed during the night.

His last day, Friday August 22nd, he and Jane went to San Francisco for a day of exploring. They went to an exhibit at the Palace of Fine Arts, the Buena Vista for Irish Coffees, and then met Jessica at the Ferry Building, now living in San Francisco, where they had oysters, drank wine and boarded the Ferry to Vallejo where their car was parked. All was good.

Saturday morning Jane went to have coffee with Jessica. They didn’t think anything of Jeff sleeping in. When Jane eventually went back into the bedroom, Jeff had passed in his sleep. When the EMTs arrived, they said Jeff had passed very peacefully, maybe the best way to go. For all of us, considering how well we thought he was doing, it was and remains a real shock.

Jeff left a myriad of friends. The outreach to his family has been amazing. His love for sports, cooking, and enjoying good company is often mentioned. Friends and colleagues came from near and far came for Jeff’s Celebration of Life.

It is frequently said the toughest part of getting older is losing the people you care about. Losing Jeff has been very tough. As they say in the 2025 song by Old Dominion “Miss You Man.” Everyday.

Thanks to Jessica Rupert and Jordan Riley for their input and edits!